Coping with agitation: simple, fast ways to calm down
Feeling agitated can hit anytime — at work, during an argument, or when a loved one with dementia becomes upset. Agitation is your body and brain reacting to stress, pain, or confusion. You don’t need fancy tools to reduce it. Small, practical steps often work best and are easy to use right away.
Quick calming techniques you can use now
Try focused breathing: inhale for 4, hold 4, exhale for 8. Do this 4–6 times. Use the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding trick: name 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste. Both bring attention out of a racing head and into the present.
Move your body. A 5–10 minute walk, marching in place, or swinging your arms can drop adrenaline and clear the mind. Use sensory tools: hold something cool, squeeze a stress ball, or try a weighted blanket for 10–20 minutes. Soothing music, dim lights, or a quiet room helps, especially if noise or bright lights are a trigger.
Talk to yourself the way you would to a friend. Say short, calm phrases: “I’m safe,” “This will pass,” or “Five minutes and I’ll reassess.” Labeling emotions out loud — “I’m angry” or “I’m overwhelmed” — reduces their power and makes them easier to manage.
Longer-term strategies and care tips
Find and reduce triggers. Keep a simple log: what happened before each episode, how long it lasted, and what helped. Common causes include pain, low blood sugar, poor sleep, certain meds, or infections. If agitation starts suddenly, check for medical causes like a UTI or dehydration.
Build a calming routine. Regular sleep, gentle exercise, and small daily breaks lower baseline stress. Practice relaxation daily — 10 minutes of guided breathing, yoga, or progressive muscle relaxation can make future agitation less intense. For people with dementia, routines and familiar items cut confusion and frustration.
If you care for someone else, use validation instead of arguing. Say, “I see you’re upset,” then offer one small action: water, a snack, or stepping outside. Give one-step directions and remove obvious triggers. Keep escape routes and safety in mind if agitation grows into aggression.
Medications can help in some cases, but they aren’t the first step. Talk with a doctor about options if agitation is frequent or dangerous. A physician may check for medical causes, adjust current meds, or suggest short-term medications. For dementia-related agitation, some drugs carry serious risks, so discuss benefits and side effects carefully.
Get help when agitation won’t calm down or becomes harmful. Seek emergency care if there’s risk of hurting yourself or others, severe confusion, high fever, seizures, or loss of consciousness. For ongoing episodes, ask your clinician for a safety plan and possible referral to mental health or neurology.
Small actions add up. Use quick techniques first, track what works, and talk to a provider when needed. You don’t have to handle severe or repeated agitation alone — help and safer options are available.
